The disease called"Perfection"

Well I spent more than twelve hours writing this post because this message is important to me! I wonder if I'm the only one aware of this infection of mental disease laying on so many of us. There is a serious pandemic of "perfection" spreading and it needs to stop. Hear me out because this is something for which I am passionate and constantly hurting over. It's sickness that I've even trying to put into words for years without much success(maybe because English is my second language) It's a sickness that I have personally struggled with. It's a sickness that at times has left me hiding me in dark corners and hating myself. And chances are it hit you too!
For the longest times I will get so anxious and worry that i"ll say or do something stupid and people will judge me and my family till one day when the Lord open my eyes and let me see what I need to do and say.
What is the disease of perfection? well this is the real life symptoms...we live a life where we feel an amount of pressure to always appear perfectly happy, perfectly functional and perfectly figured. "Perfection" is much different than perfectionism.

The following examples of "perfection" are all real life examples that I collect in my mind over the years from confidential sources, family, friends or my own life.

"Perfection" is a wife who feels trapped in a marriage to a lazy, angry man but at soccer practice tells the other wives how wonderful her husband is.

"Perfection" is a husband who is belittled, unappreciated and abused by his wife, but he works endlessly to make his marriage appear incredible to those around him.

"Perfection" is a daugther that facing learning difficulties that keeps it hidden for years in high school because she doesn't want to be the first among her friends and family to be imperfect.

"Perfection" is a couple drowning in debt but who still agrees to the cruise with their friends because the words" we don't have money" are impossible ones to push across their lips.

"Perfection" is a mom hating herself for not being as busy as others and for not being like very other moms around her the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect neighbor the perfect christian. " I"d give anything to be like &&&& she runs 10km a day, she cooks six completely meals, participated in every church activity, every children's activities. What we might not know is that this mom might cry home right now because of the pressure to be "perfect" never lets up.

"Perfection' is the dad hating himself because he can't give the same things to his kids that other dads.

"Perfection" is a man feeling like a smaller man when a friend or a neighbour brags about his new boat, his new trip, or his latest new promotion.

I could go on and on...this is a small sampling of the disease that is called "perfection". We all have fathers, mothers, friends, sisters, brothers, extended family members and children who are ALL these things,yet none of us will ever know.
"Perfection" is a hideous monster with a beautiful smiling face. The problem is we are all infected at one point in our lives... but I believe that there is a cure.

Be real! Let's all pray for each other, let's all share and be bold with one another.

We need to embrace our weakness, because everybody does have them. We need to embrace the reality that our body is not perfect, that there are things we can't control and that only God is in control.

Let's be real with each other, be bold with our weaknesses and you and I will change people's lives. Once Jesus can heal us from this disease others will come to us asking if we can pray for them or if they can talk to us...we're all desperate to talk and share but we're afraid of being judged, being unfriend.. after people will find out your struggles. Some of the most "perfect" people around us will tell you that they struggle like you and I...they will break down in tears telling you how difficult live is for them to live this perfect life.

All we need to do is love them, accept them and love yourself even more for being real and for not being perfect.

"Perfection" is infecting every corner of society, it infects our children school, our neighborhoods, our churches, our workplaces, I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of genuinely, happy people...no not at all.

The reason I'm writing this is because in the last and half year I see this everywhere but only few people ever notice. I believe the Lord wants us to find somebody to put our arm around them and to be "real". We need to realize how beautiful that is even with all our imperfections, and struggles. This is me right now sad and desperate for my daughter and for all the girls around her to love themselves, this is me trying to help her and reminding us to feel little more perfect by asking to act a little less perfect(makes sense I guess?) Remember English is my second language!! feeling a bit less perfect right now!!!!!

Let's get real, get vulnerable...if you want your friends and people around you to start being real, you have to start first.

I will not post anything this intense for a while now or nearly this long but I needed to share this because it was very important to me to share with you my inability of being perfect.

I will post something more funny tomorrow. :)

When life gives you lemons learn to make limoncello

Life's tossed some lemons our way and we've decided to embrace them, squeeze them, grate them and infuse them in our lemonade or limoncello(Is an Italian lemon liquor) But in the mist of all this I find encouragement in Jeremiah29;11 that says For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord: The plans are to prosper and not to harm you to give you future and hope. Is it amazing how the Lord promises make me feel secure in my dependency on Him and on His amazing grace. So grateful for that!

After months and months of delays and rejections we're are closer than ever to say hello to "Chameleon Cafe" The wait was well worth it! The name we choose for our restaurant will synthesizes our philosophy of changing menu and to adapt a new idea from serving cafe to really amazing meals.

Before we start working on renovating the place we are applying for all the licences and Inspections from the city and we are hoping for Mario and his crew to start right after that.

They will come on board to pound, bang, saw,drill,sing to make this place complete. I'm sure they will be few bumps on the road but I'm sure overall will be all good and exciting.
So in the mind time can I ask you for a teeny little favor? Until Chameleon's door opens actually doors, please pray for us, shout out a word of encouragement or two every so often. I'm so excited by the whole process and feel so unbelievably fortunate to be fulfilling our dreams once again, but every so often it will feel overwhelming.

So I will try something different. I will let the fun begin and I will continue to trust the Lord, and celebrate the coming of Chameleon.

Thinking of menu making decisions and being creating is something that I love so t the thought gives me goosebumps. Think about fried chicken served on a beautiful plate, I know is not gourmet but let's face it who doesn't love a piece of crunch fried chicken? I do...even Thomas Kelller loves fried chicken...so there!!!

I'm really excited for Pumpkin spice out of the oven with a cup of morning coffee, butternut squash soup dotted with creme fraiche and chives. We will bake, cook, make pizza, fresh bread and many more. We have a vast amount of foodie knowledge and we're up to date on all the foodie trends.

I will keep you updated with photos and information's a soon as contractions begins.

From my kitchen to yours,

Magda

Yesterday someone inform me that she feels she knows me so well and is probably not much she doesn't know about me. I didn't really know how exactly I should, respond to that but upon further thought, I realize that there probably a lot of things that she might not know about me, especially the quirkiest ones and I realized it's the little things that make a person who we are. So Here are some things about me that might be considered a bit different:

I hate being touched with wet hands(like shaking hands)
I like having things lined up at 90 angles
I don't like drinking milk with anything other than peanut butter sandwich
I'm horrible at understanding lyrics and often make up my own words to songs( don't laugh)

I crave sweets throughout the whole day
I despise scary movies
I must sleep with the covers over my shoulders
I don't like people I don't know well(or at all) touching me or getting to close to me
I don't go to sleep till I read
Aside from my very good friends and my family I don't really like hugging people, I'll do it but very lightly and for a second.
I like hot coffee but cannot drink it until is lukewarm
I can't stand socks on my feet -especially when I sleep
I make an insane amount of lists(I constantly take notes or make lists)
I have a journal since my teen years

Now I hope that you all know almost everything about me even my quirkiest things.:)
What are some of your quirks?

Happy Birthday to Me! :)

Today is my Birthday ~ is fantastic to be 43 and is fantastic to feel loved!

There so many new things and exciting things on the horizon...God is so good and we are trusting Him with it all.

Hmmmmmm....what would I like for my birthday, you might ask? Well is easy to answer that because I don't need anything and all I need is from the inside out, so there is now you know. What I really want is to have my relationship with God healthy, and for my spiritual maturity to show in me and to still have the sparkle awe and gratitude for the incredible undeserved privilege of being God's child.

Do I enjoy my age...Yes I DO enjoy my age a lot.

Today I will enjoy my family, my cake, the flowers and I will accept the wrinkles that didn't show last year and the gray hair that has appeared- prematurely of course! But most of all I will celebrate what the Lord has done in my life and what He wants to do in the future.

Happy Birthday to Me !!!!

Play dates aren't just for kids

I was driving home the other night and heard a song that took me back 10 yrs to a special time that I shared with a close girlfriend with whom I've since lost touch. Sad part is that I didn't pick up the phone and call her I thought of her, missed our old times but I didn't reach out. How often do we do that? How many times passes between luncheos with girlfriends or just a coffee time, or even a easy glass of wine for a pity party.

My son asked me when we left our friends house "How come moms don't have sleepovers with their friends" I thougth that was so cute I guess playdates or sleepovers are just for kids you know?

I love time shared with my girlfriends, I need it , I enjoy it and I am better because of it. I am blessed to have amazing women in my life that I value very much and I don't take their friendship for garnted. I must admit that I do NOT see them enough. My family monopolizes most of my time but I do crave out my moments. There is nothing like girltime.

This is for all of us women to women, we NEED each other. I belive women connect with each other differently and provide support systme that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. My husband rarely sits down with a friend and talk about how he feels about certain things or how his personal live is going...Job yes, sports, yes, cars yes but his feeling? rarely!

We do it all the time I do! We share from our souls with our friends I do, evidently that is very good for your health. It says that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at the gym.

So everytime you hang out with your friends like I did this weekend and today just pat yourself on your back for doing something good for you. I am indeed very very blessed! SOOOO let's toast to our friendship! evidently it's good for our health to have each other> Xo

Re-thinking Mothers Day

Tell me if this happens at your house.You circle Mother's Day on the family calendar, you leave note with the URL for your favourite florist beside the bathroom sink along with the phone number just in case. You tell your children for weeks in advance that"mom special day" is coming and have them repeat the food that I like best.

Then MD comes. You still have to make breakfast like my youngest son said to me this morning, Happy Mother's Day Mom!and 3 minutes later "Mom I'm hungry"! Your flowers don't arrive, and your husband takes the family through the drive-thru for lunch or ask to some leftovers from last night. The result- you spend the day stewing and your family is miserable.

Maybe that's not how it works for you. Maybe you are one of the few who is celebrated exactly how you want to be each Mother's Day!But for most this holiday can often be a major disappointment.

And you know what our husbands and children aren't to be blame...

Thinking your the centre of the universe, even if it's only for a day, misses a major point-namely that you're not the centre of the universe. We're a part of a family, an important part, yes, but not so important that we've earned the right to demand adoration, affection, and one-day Get Out of the jail free card.

Here are some biblical truths that many of us, including me the most I need to be reminded on this day.

We are called to humble.

Matthew 23:12- "Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted"


Our role as a mother is not a burden, but a gift.

Psalms127:3-" Behold children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward". If your are blessed enough to have children, your gift has already been delivered.

Remember Whom we serve

I know my kids don't send Thank you notes very often, and my husband doesn't always notice all the things I do, But the truth is I don't work for my husband and my kids, I work in pleasing my Creator and His the one who fullfilled my needs in order to be a better mom and a better wife.

Colossians3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. Your serving the Lord Christ"

Serving your family is an important job, most of the time subestimed but is a way to demonstrated Christ to them and the outside world, where a lot of family are crumbling because they don't know how to serve each other. Psalm100:2 urges us to "serve the Lord with gladness". Losing sight of this even for a day, won't make for a happy heart or a happy family.


I want to say sincerely thank you to all my friends that over the years thought me so much about parenting and for being great moms. Thanks for doing all the heavy lifting require to teach your kids about Jesus, thanks for being great friends and good example to my children, and for parenting tips according to God's plan.

As for me I thank the Lord for His help in trying to model my life before my children even when I don't feel like, and for the practical ways to live like is not about me, so that the children knows it's all about Him. Today I tried to remember myself that I don't need to be glorified but to bring glory to our Saviour!

Have a blessed day!

Too Embarrassed to Ask for Prayers

Is been a bit tough at the Bitoius household, as we are waiting to see what the Lord has in store for us and which direction he wants us to take. Few months ago I couldn't believe that there is no room in our schedule for unplanned interruption. Well I was wrong! God had a different idea!

We are in the process of opening a new restaurant-bakery-cafe but our planning and scheduling was way off and now were are in our almost third month of Mario not having a steady work instead working to make it in time to all the meetings, waiting for phone calls and lawyer letters in order to get everything we need to start getting the work that needed to be done in order to open the doors.

I got so discouraged, sad and I fear that I will not be able to make it thru all this. I had to take care of my kids, but at times I was very sad and anxious about meeting our deadline in opening the new place.

One day when I wanted to pray but I couldn't get words past the lump in my throat, my friend called me and I broke down. She prayed with me and asked why don't you ask for prayers and Ill recruit others to pray for you too. I didn't want to sound rude so I said Okay. She keep her word, within few hours I start getting few texts or emails from friends saying that were praying for my family. That's when I ask for prayers on my FB wall(never underestimate the power of FB) and I got a great assurance from friends that encourage me with phone calls, texts or private messages with encouraging Scripture or by simply saying we're praying....


Here is the funny thing. All the prayers didn't make me feel better. A least not at first. The emotion that I felt the strongest that afternoon was embarrassment. I didn't like everyone knowing that things weren't perfect behind our front door. I didn't like the feeling that I couldn't pray for myself out of this mess all on my own. Most of all, I didn't like the harsh reality that I couldn't keep up with my plan.

The Lord tenderly deal with my heart that day. He remind me that He created friends to be a support network, and He called my reluctance to ask for prayer what it really was- pride.

As I sat down to eat dinner that evening I thought about the pride of not sharing how people can pray for me. When people ask, I rarely have to reply or I go for something safe and surface like - Im feeling down, maybe because of the weather! I rarely go deep and open up about the areas of my life where I really need Gods power to create change. I'm realizing that if I want to see the power of prayers in my life and in the lives of others, I need to get real about the broken places where I need God to work. That means admitting areas where I'm weak and cannot do it on my own.


James5;13-16 says,

"Is any of you in trouble, it should pray. Is any of you happy, let him sing songs of praise. Is any of you sick,he should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the person sick well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will
be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."


The verse tells us to relay and confess our sins to each other and pray for each other, so that we can be healed.

Ladies, I am learning that part of why God placed you in my life so that I have prayer support when I need it the most. But in order for it to work that way, I have to take off my mask of perfection and say- I'm struggling, would you pray for me...but if I keep offering up only trivial prayer requests, I cannot tap into the true power of prayer.

I can attest that the prayer was so efficient and God works in his Mighty way. The more people pray the more we saw things moving into the right direction. Last Friday we had very great news and in probably next two weeks were going in. ya!
I can describe this as a -"loaves and fishes experience" God multiplied in every way. I know that if I had to refused to ask those around my to pray, this story would have a much different ending.

How about you...Are willing to get real about areas where you need others to pray for you-or will you stick to the surface stuff, I encourage you to find a praying friend, take off your mask of perfection and ask for prayers. everyone needs them! their the best gift that we can offer to each other...